i bought a gun

Yes, I bought a gun at the pawn shop across the street.  It's an imported, no-name .38 special six-shot revolver.  Box of hollow-points, too.

I plan to do the deed in the hospital parking lot, just outside the door.  I'll go inside, and show the admitting nurse my driver's license and it's "organ donor" indication.  I'll give her contact information for my mother, and ask her to pass it along to the police.

Then, I'll step outside, kiss my grandmother's picture, pray for my mother's forgiveness, and probably start crying.

The gun...

First, I'll cock the hammer.  The clerk called this "double action" and said it makes for an "easier trigger-pull."  I'll put the barrel in my mouth, and point it back-center and up, slightly.  The round should strike my brain stem, severing the connection between brain and body.  Death should come quickly.

I'm sooo ready for this to be over.  I've just spent a rainy holiday weekend with no gig, little money, nothing to do and no one to hang with.  Life sucks.