Is there a heaven? Will I be allowed entry? Will I be greeted by someone I loved? Maybe Olga "Heartsy" Jones, my maternal grandmother? "Nana" Susie, the godmother who took her own life years ago? Bob Siler, mechanical genius and fatherly Navy division chief? Will St. Peter stand at the gate, reviewing my profile and history online? (surely Heaven is computerized by now) Will he consider all the things that I've done, not just the impulsive, reckless, unkind and just plain stupid?
Will I meet God? Will he be angry? Are questions allowed?
If there's a heaven, then there's also probably a hell. I'm not afraid. It can't be worse that the shit-rut I'm currently in.
I think this through every day. It still seems like the right choice.
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