Mr. Fix-It

When I get a call, I rarely hear "Jeff, let's hang out.  Jeff, let's go get a drink.  Jeff, I'm bored.  Jeff, I'm lonely.  Jeff, I'm horny."

I usually hear, "Jeff, I need your help."

I've always been good with my hands.  I can do stuff.  I can build stuff.  I can fix stuff.  I understand how things work.  I have tools, a van, a hand truck and fair-to-middling physical strength.  I'm the guy people call when they have a problem.

Being Mr. Fix-It is my lot in life, and I try hard to accept it.  Some people pay me.  Some say thanks and try to return the favor.  Often, there is no reciprocity, especially when doing favors for women.  After allowing several females to take advantage of me, I finally learned a hard lesson--being her "bitch" will not spark attraction.

I'm done being the handyman no one wants to socialize with.  Mr. Fix-It is retiring.  Permanently.